2012 Oh my dear God....time really flies...

I look back at the post before I left Malaysia. I can't believe I was so daring to leave everything behind. I do miss the security and comfort then. It was very challenging in Malaysia but I had all my familiar friends and people who supported me. I bet God and his angels was definitely with me too then.

But...

I feel like I have embark so far in time..I don't know who I was before any more until I look back at these pictures in my blog... I deleted some of them..as though I could have no memories of how I was back then...

Inside my head a voice telling me "I'm here now...I'm in my present. So don't mourn what was left behind but do what you need to here. " but another voice tells me " I could always call and ask how the others are back home." It's different... Is this home sick? but do I still have a home there any more? This is really scary...

Feel like I'm attached to this new identity in UK, to this country, to this city. I can't believe how it led on... I really need to be very brave.

Another voice saying " What nonsense are you speaking, you belong to christ, you belong to the kingdom that will be coming, and all your loves ones are not going to be there if you don't tell them about Christ's kingdom... that is what you should be fearful...that is what you should mourn, when you can no longer see them...

Know why you are where you are now, Pam.... Wake up, don't be drown by the cares and the pattern of the world but be transform.

Know your goal, your ultimate goal, not these earthly wealth, burdens and comforts that will be rusted or stolen, unnecessary and dangerous.

Set my eyes upon that narrow road to heaven's gate.

"Well done you good and faithful servant" or "depart from me I never knew you."

before this CNY I almost thought of quitting my studies especially that it is a burden to my siblings but I can't let this happen again...I have no other options to turn back to but to go forward..I can't let this financial issue burden me like when I was studying in Taylor's, it's 4 years ago, I must press on this time, because I'm passionate of what I'm studying...passionate for the people in this arena, I speak to this problem be gone! This time it is different... I will complete what I've started and 2 more years is going to fly. Lord, I can do nothing without You... I can animate no stories if, creativity does not come from You... You are the chief artist of all creation and the director for all the characters in this world you've made. You've made us to know you and to worship you, and there is many people out there that are deceived and has turn their back against you.

I know why I'm here! Teach me to take up my cross and follow you, Lord in every little thing.