Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Strive to Revive

I've lost my passion for life
you show me the way again
that I can dream dreams
and see visions...

one last month
to strive to be revived....

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Childhood Memories of Aladdin

Black fried yellow noodles, when I close my eye I flash back walking into the class room I was studying 1X for 6 years old. I remember the food that was served in the kindergarten. It was delicious. All done in bite sizes for me sandwiches, porridge. small colourful bowls  yes yes I do enjoy them. Some children were picking out the ''tou geh'' in the noodles and some just finding for the scramble egg in them. I think I'm one of them who just have a good appetite.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

2012 Oh my dear God....time really flies...

I look back at the post before I left Malaysia. I can't believe I was so daring to leave everything behind. I do miss the security and comfort then. It was very challenging in Malaysia but I had all my familiar friends and people who supported me. I bet God and his angels was definitely with me too then.


I feel like I have embark so far in time..I don't know who I was before any more until I look back at these pictures in my blog... I deleted some of though I could have no memories of how I was back then...

Inside my head a voice telling me "I'm here now...I'm in my present. So don't mourn what was left behind but do what you need to here. " but another voice tells me " I could always call and ask how the others are back home." It's different... Is this home sick? but do I still have a home there any more? This is really scary...

Feel like I'm attached to this new identity in UK, to this country, to this city. I can't believe how it led on... I really need to be very brave.

Another voice saying " What nonsense are you speaking, you belong to christ, you belong to the kingdom that will be coming, and all your loves ones are not going to be there if you don't tell them about Christ's kingdom... that is what you should be fearful...that is what you should mourn, when you can no longer see them...

Know why you are where you are now, Pam.... Wake up, don't be drown by the cares and the pattern of the world but be transform.

Know your goal, your ultimate goal, not these earthly wealth, burdens and comforts that will be rusted or stolen, unnecessary and dangerous.

Set my eyes upon that narrow road to heaven's gate.

"Well done you good and faithful servant" or "depart from me I never knew you."

before this CNY I almost thought of quitting my studies especially that it is a burden to my siblings but I can't let this happen again...I have no other options to turn back to but to go forward..I can't let this financial issue burden me like when I was studying in Taylor's, it's 4 years ago, I must press on this time, because I'm passionate of what I'm studying...passionate for the people in this arena, I speak to this problem be gone! This time it is different... I will complete what I've started and 2 more years is going to fly. Lord, I can do nothing without You... I can animate no stories if, creativity does not come from You... You are the chief artist of all creation and the director for all the characters in this world you've made. You've made us to know you and to worship you, and there is many people out there that are deceived and has turn their back against you.

I know why I'm here! Teach me to take up my cross and follow you, Lord in every little thing.

Friday, December 30, 2011

How to Save £ pounds as a Student in London

I have been doing many research to save £s this holiday.

In order to do so I splurge on certain websites and promotions just to find out for myself if it works.

I found this website called Top Cash Back. Apparently if I click through them to the companies I usually purchase my products from such as skype, ebay, tesco, comets...etc I will get cash back from them and the cash back I've accumulated I could change my cash backs to amazon voucher's or into my paypal. *please support me!* :) click here! if you are planning to join that I may get 10£ cash back. (it is a link that verify my recommendation)

I also change from orange mobile network to Giffgaff mobile network( been using it for 3 months now) . It is a very good mobile network to go with because they use O2 satellites which is the best coverage in UK ( so good that sometimes when I'm lifts and car parks, lower ground floor I get signal too...). More over with their 10£ a month Goodie Bag I receive 250mins, unlimited text and unlimited internet!
If you do plan to try, make sure you click through my link to order a sim card so that you get free 5£ credit in your sim card. It's true! my sister activated hers and we both got 5£ each in our giffgaff account. I wish somebody recommended the sim card to me that I could have got 5£ when I join but I didn't. sobs ='(

Get a free giffgaff Sim

I also learned that I could call 0845 numbers for free through skype-to-go option, I bought a 400mins 3.99/month. which safes me money when I have to call those big companies to solve any banking matters or bills.

I got a couple of freebies from student Beans website too. Remember having my first box of Graze delivered to my door step for FREE ! Then immediately cancelling my future order so that I had their free trial offer.

I also got a little crazy by buying original student software instead of downloading torrent now. So proud of myself ! I want to continue buying genuine software but so far windows 7 ultimate was the crazies I've done and could afford. So, after doing my research I found out that the software prices in Phoenixs is much better than software4students by a couple of quids. Hope I will be able to purchase adobe premium student edition in the future after saving enough £399 instead of thousands of ££s (non-student edition).

That's all for now. Hope I can share more saving tips that I have found out as a student here in London.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Cool Little New Invention

This is the trouble with me. I love to go green and paperless, shifting from hard copy to soft copy for everything. However somehow somethings seems to make more sense when it's in your hands...or something beautiful you dont wish that it's only in your phone or your hard disc.

Hello Little Printer, available 2012 from BERG on Vimeo.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

returning to the old hobby

I stop gardening in Malaysia ever since being so busy with activities and kakak yati left for indonesia.

Now because of the basil animation project I have bought a pot of basil plant from Sainsbury and it has been giving me basil for more than 3 rounds of pruning.

because of that I have been buying vegetables from pots mostly herbs and one of them is my mint plant. This plants are very peculiar especially growing them indoor. Some weeks it just looks like its going to die and is ready to be chucked in the bin but all of sudden it starts to bloom. (I'm so happy at the thought of that)

My sister has caught my strange behavior of talking to the plants these days before going to college. I think I have started to grow fond of them ;). muaks muaks.

My lecturer who found out about the basil project also contributed his germinated basil seeds from his garden to my care. So funny and kind of him. Look at how much the seedling grew!

I'm so proud of this special purple basil. It smells different from the sweet basil leafs, a stronger pungent I would say, like hacks sweet (haha). I hope the cold won't disturb it. I have been opening the windows just for them despite of my allergic to cold wind. Hopefully the sun ray helps.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

the body needs to rant about something amazing!

The past one or two weeks had become something like a trial period again.

After the trip to Sunningdale, I caught the most severe cold I had since coming to London. It could be Hay-fever, since I did quite a lot of nature walks, or it could just be bugs I caught from the children (hahaha) or not enough rest, thinking too much bout work or dressing too little :P. I don’t know. However, it was a real testingtime as I seek God for strength and healing. I didn’t miss a single day of my classes and tutorials during my illness, praise the Lord!

I am constantly monitoring my punctuality and attendance. Somehow I feel a great need to change in this factor. God did help me in a way, because I was ill I slept almost immediately after arriving home, taking my medication and changing into my pyjamas. Dush! I had around 11hours of sleep, 7pm until 5am ( more cough syrup and toilet runs in between.) that caused me to leave my house 7am an hour earlier for my class, which starts at 9am... and that was for two days! didn't count the first day where I fought and won the battle to go for a half day class. Amazingly, in the midst of this illness, he thought me to be a good student. Perhaps this trial was really to help me not to boast and continue to be faithful in Him. :D He supplies all strength.

I did something crazy on face book today. One of the results of my exploration has caused me to post this here. This was a blog post from a sister whom I did not know was in Christ as well. It is really touching but in a way funny to me.


October 13th, 2010 § 1 Comment

“You must picture me alone in that room in Magdalen, night after night, feeling, whenever my mind lifted even for a second from my work, the steady, unrelenting approach of Him whom I so earnestly desired not to meet. That which I greatly feared had at last come upon me. In the Trinity Term of 1929 I gave in, and admitted that God was God, and knelt and prayed: perhaps, that night, the most dejected and reluctant convert in all England.”

- C.S. Lewis

How ever far we try to run, one day we’ll have to kneel in acknowledgment of God because everything simply points to that. It all comes back to Him in the end.

I really like the way C.S. Lewis spoken about himself as the most dejected and reluctant convert in all England when that night he knelt and prayed, admitting that God was God. Couldn't help but to laugh for a couple of seconds as it does make me ponder if this was me as well...

Thursday, March 3, 2011



[frend] Show IPA
a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends ofthe Boston Symphony.
a person who is on good terms with another; a person whois not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?
a member of the same nation, party, etc.
( initial capital letter ) a member of the Religious Society offriends; a Quaker.

Excuse my finding to search definitions of the word 'friend'. The word 'friend' has been unconsciously coined into my vocabulary since a child. Many may have a recognition our parents telling us "go, go play with some of your friends" or "say hi to your friend who and who" when we were a little child.

A 'friend' I often didn't see the pain of migrating, the thought of loosing friends. I mean with the internet we could chat with anyone over online messengers such as skype or MSN. We could even stay in touch with social networks, facebook etc. Why worry?

Another reason I wanted to bring the attention of 'friend' to myself was having thousands of friends in Facebook. I wonder what is the logic behind thousand of friends when I only have a pair of hands, eyes, ears and only 1 mouth. Do people these days have quality friends? I strongly suggest that Facebook could help us not misused our terms. I can understand that we add people as our friends for the convenient of connection, to keep in touch with people we met over parties or social events. However, it makes the word 'friend' so vague.

In my humble experience, a friend does act as a supporter or assistance in my life. A friend is indeed attached through feelings of affection and personal regard. So in my deepest gratitude to those who have supported me through thick and thin. A big thank you. I wish there would be a simplest way of repayment which is to be a good friend in return but unfortunately most of the time I could not do. Only I can trust is be blessed! :0)

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

*dust* dust*

Sorry bloggy. I've been setting my priorities and home work comes first.

today I woke up 10 pass 12 in the noon. I know that's quite late isn't it, been having my insomia kicking back after my 3rd week in the UK. i really don't know the cause. Another reason for allowing myself to sleep in more is because i don't have classes on mondays and tuesday.

I got ready pretty quick and headed for KT office to work with my dajie. Clocked in at 45 pass 12 in the noon and got started. Yeah I know dajie's office is so near our abode right?

I learnt how to send invoices to accounts department and issue receipts for Dajie's parent for the encounter week they pay for their children to go for.

I'm relatively surprise with myself because by the time we finished our work it was half pass 6 in the evening. I'm used to be very self-centered and would put my uni/ college work first in the list than helping others especially mom's kindy work. i would get very agitated when she asked me to do something for her.

I'm delighted i'm not anymore that way. Probably I really enjoy doing this type of work or probably is the Holy Spirit controlling my movements and thoughts. I really enjoyed doing all those work although i had homework pilling up to complete. Which i'm going to start doing in a while. I'm certain and proclaiming i will complete my work in due time because the strenght of the Lord is upon me.


i will be putting pictures soon!

Hugs and Kisses! Thanks for all the birthday wishes!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Personal Statement to the College

Date: 24th June, Friday

I would like to apply to study in West Thames College for the Foundation Diploma in Art and Design as the course out line has attracted me. I am very interested in learning about fine arts, communication and multimedia, 3D design, Surface pattern and decoration.

I have research many colleges for this course and to this point West Thames College has offered a variety and broader range of stuidies for arts and design and that is what I am looking for.

I regard my self as a very suitable candidate for this course as my thoughts would be more mature, having been experiencing the working world for nearly 2 years in various fields . I am therefore ready and have the right mind set, attitude and spirit to pursue and graduate int his art and design industry.

Some affiliated work with this course is being an art teacher in the children department of my favorite Art house here in Malaysia. We were to teach children fundamental drawing, colouring, painting methods and making crafts. Ultimately the creativity came from each child exploring their ideas, we merely guided them when they encountered obstacles. Working in this place has helped me so much in thinking out of the box daily.

My attributes such as being able to draw, paint, research for ideas, and doing crafts would be able to assist me to complete this course. Born in a digital era also gives me an upper hand to be computer literate, design tools and softwares would most certainly wet my appetite.

I am also most excited to be able to learn at a global city, London. it would be a grat honor to learn with and from friends coming from every part of the world, partner with lecturers and tutors to future improve my self at your prestigious college.

Thank you very much!!


since u can wrote till you are so vain then go ahead and prove that you can do it.


you can do all things through Christ who strengthens u! phil 4:13

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Tuesday stress

I'm so exhausted. Packing and making sure everything in Malaysia is in order before i leave for UK. I just can't wait to sub in and sleep for 15 hours till i arrive London. A whole different environment. I pray i can just treat it as a holiday and go with a non stress, bubbly attitude but it's not easy knowing this time results are expected.

Sometimes I'm a little afraid to leave my home and familiar friend and family to a whole new alien place. =/ which shouldn't suppose to be...

cos 3 years back i pledge to return to London- my paradise. and I know god has prepare a plan for me there.


sustain me! i think i'm breaking down soon.