Early in the morning she exploded
Spoil people's mood
I wonder why she can't speak nicely to people
It's not like people don't make any mistakes...
As said last night i requested to stay home to finish my asgment
In the end i couldn't do nuts
felt so stupid after the early morning condemnation.
Didn't want to waste more time staring at the screen
I did some admin work for school
then left to the djay.
fun fun
the atmosphere there is always light
the experience teacher works very professionally and we could click
she seem understanding and always willing the lend a ear and helping hand in whatever area i was able to help
In contrast with si tao poh always bursting out with condemnation
Gees..I keep telling myself to forgive her and forget...
cause that is what we are asked to do as follower of Christ...
Lunch time si tao poh came again...
Join us for lunch
Nothing happen
We were suppose to pay the bills
she wanted her way
she didnt trust me
To save trouble I kept to myself
Followed her way
then we head for PJ states
everywhere was congested
She couldn't decide which road she wanted
or she was just plain impatient
keep changing roads
Pammie kept her patients
Until she couldn't take it
cause the clock was ticking
and it was suppose to be study time
So pammie mention stick to the plan
pay online cos it's fast, no sweat no jam.
Finally manage to knock some sense and convince her
but pammie still couldn't go home to do her homework
Cause mommie still wouldn't let her go
Ended we still quarrel
Cos she said i can never follow what she wants
I still don't get her point...
How many times have i told her
that I only have 2 more days to finish my work
then she started to bring all the grandmother stories
threaten to suicide to see if i could survive or not
I don't know how much longer i can take this crappy-ness
I'm tired of being threaten and condemn all the time.
She seems easily speaking and bursting everytime
Then she forgets...
or perhaps she treats as though nothing happens before
not knowing she only makes the scar deeper each time
Can I let go and forgive again?
But i know i'm making her sounds all bad
like I didn't put salt to the wound
All things takes two to clap..
To take a breather I help her with her work again
and left for tuition
Then i found my happiness again
I feel so happy when the children were motivated
Manage to teach and encourage saRanya to play the recorder
She was so shy at first because the other boy could play so fast
but with self practice and a little help
in the end when i was driving her home.
she asked if she could play merry had a little lamb for me :D
was also able to help iMtiaz in his reading
the mom was pretty happy seeing her boy willing to listen to pammie's guidance
thank God
Don't worry you'll be able to catch up soon :)
At the meant time
i was thinking of where to do my asg tonight
since i know I got no "space" at home although the house is huge.
it's the same as having "peace" when switching off your phone in a movie
Suddenly instead of starbucks or mcdonalds
or the long missed LCS library
I decided to take advantage of my privileges and my penny
I went to Djay...
a vacant room to do my assignment
Again like i said the atmosphere was light
The maids and the teacher were all relaxing after their work
Happily I sneak my laptop up
and tug myself in an empty room
Worked out on my asgment and WHollA~
I'm like 85% done now...
Just some more editing and pictures to be added.
I can't believe God was so gracious...
I found my second home..
Or perhaps 3rd home if church is my 2nd.
I'm so glad i had the peace of mind
I thank God i could let go of all that happen in the afternoon
and manage to complete 85% from
mumbo jumbo of 30% from the whole 2 weeks.
However i seriously
i don't know how should i
communicate with her anymore
It seems always one way traffic
and hard core insults
i guess to be at peace
I wanna avoid seeing her
and speak less to her...
until then I wonder
I really wonder...
Thank you God.
I know you love me...
and I'm in your safe hands...
hmm..also wanna thank you
prince charming...
for the chocolate fontier?fondon?
It was thumbs up..
sorry i was so sleepy
eyes nearly closing
when we're talking...
I'm glad w how things are now
that I'm getting to know you better
and for the space u're giving me
to grow up as a student,daughter and a better being.
thanks for letting me be independent in my career
liking you because you've helped me so much is
an absolutely NO-NO.
It's got to be more than that ...
i guess that's all i got to say...
sigh..
pamiO for the "hell" of a day on earth.
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