Tuesday stress

I'm so exhausted. Packing and making sure everything in Malaysia is in order before i leave for UK. I just can't wait to sub in and sleep for 15 hours till i arrive London. A whole different environment. I pray i can just treat it as a holiday and go with a non stress, bubbly attitude but it's not easy knowing this time results are expected.

Sometimes I'm a little afraid to leave my home and familiar friend and family to a whole new alien place. =/ which shouldn't suppose to be...

cos 3 years back i pledge to return to London- my paradise. and I know god has prepare a plan for me there.

God!!!

sustain me! i think i'm breaking down soon.

never enough

you say money is the most important.

for comfort for fame...

give me a million dollars and all will be fine.

tell this to a 6 years old maybe they will agree with you.

truly is that realistic? the more we have the more we want more.

sadly more is never enough.

Lord,

When only would we learn to be satisfied? only You can satisfy this human heart of ours.

sometimes You don't give us too much so that we would learn the art of being humble and not boastful with the excessive. I pray i have learned from others mistake and will not follow after.

God help me to be contented in terms of materials and wealth. Help me to learn how to manage existing wealth, current, future blessings...

I pray that i would not have to be lost in the wilderness for 40 years before entering this kingdom of milk and honey of yours :) !

slurps i love you Jesus.

nightmare

after so much laughing at leaders advance i'm put out to the world to be knock down.

sigh. happy moment just dun last..that's life...

I pray my patients will last me..

and all these negative thought will leave me...

that i will be strong yet humble and kind as matter takes a stroll on me...

i will not shout back but will just keep silents till things gets better...

i've got a party to attend tomoro. =P

surprise!

and another retreat to go for..i really hope it will be 2 sunnydays so pamie can go out to play..

inner thoughts

do you believe that it's not the person that come into your life, or the place you go that is going to end your misery...? it's within... it's how you bring your self that will bring changes...why do i feel that i behave differently with different people...certain people and certain places in life just makes me feel so happy...certain places and certain people just sucks the joy out of me...how sad..

I'm not picking my phone for i don't want to hear anymore nonsense... =(

Leaders Advance

I have never laugh so much in my whole entire life. Thank you for the Fun night that everyone have put in all they've got. It was so Hilarious...

to rise when you feel you are falling...

My emotions is about to take over my rationality. It feels like a test from God. Seeing if i would give in to emotions and behave otherwise. Would I behave the way He wants me to? strong and have faith in Him...He wouldn't give me a task too tough for me to endure... How am I going to handle greater things if give up and give in just encountering such small matter... hang in there pamie help is coming on the way. just sit back and see his hands upon this matter. His a miracle will appear once again...

suspense

Dear W______ P_________,

A decision on your Visa application Ref. No.:____________________ has been made by the British High Commission.
Your application has been received at the UK Visa Application Centre and is ready for collection.
Please note this is an auto generated e-mail. Please do NOT reply to this email.

Regards,
Visa Application Centre.

why they keep us in suspense...=( can't they just tell us the results?

caution (emo)

To ignore, to confront, to get angry, to argue, to inform, to pray, to cry, to scream, to forget, to lie, to wait, to run, to sleep, to drink, to smoke, to die, to swim, to hurdle, to laugh, to eat, to read, to tell, to ask, to give up, to fight, to blog.

hehehe....

I'm currently reading a book called kite runner. Got the book from keat ming. It's a pretty good book can't wait to finish it and know what's the ending.

I guess people get emo if they can't find an answer to their matter. Perhaps there is just no answer to it at the moment. we just got to wait and see what God has installed for us.

emotionless...

pamie

p/s don't be disappointment but press on, the devil is happy when we give in to negative thoughts and do silly things...must be aware and not succumb to the trap.

Terrific Tuesday

For me the most memorable thing i did today was having a bible study session with my mom.

You didn't hear me wrong.

Indeed. I did with the help of the holy spirit i think we ministered to her.

because when she was sending me back to the kindergarten she was muttering to her self " Let go...Let go.."- to Let go of chasing possession and power for oneself in the secular world. the context came from Mark 10: 17-25.

All of us have the tendency and the temptation in our surroundings therefore we equally need to be watchful and not let the evil spirit hoax us into trouble.

It's funny how dreams and questions have been boggling my mind. Yes every night i would like to dream now -INCEPTION.

In the afternoon i manage to put JET JET to sleep. YAY! and myself resting by his side.

I was half asleep and could sense the sound of people opening the door entering the kindergarten. It was quite unlikely for me because i usually sleep like a log. It sounded like someone was returning. I thought perhaps my mom. The anonymous came in the room, i could hear JET JET crying but the person carried the baby out from the sarung and laid beside me.. I thought this person is a lady cause I thought I felt boobs I had goosebumps cause it's weird that someone would come in n hug me. quite afraid I peeped and realize there was no one... just Jet Jet and myself. A lie awake on the bed thinking about what happened. It didn't felt like a dream I thought it was real...It was creepy...

Few moments later, Jet Jet really woke up. He only slept for half an hour. Crying cause of discomfort I took him out from the cot and brought him to his play cot out side. Made his milk for him. Woohoo..I manage to find a better way of letting him drink his milk from the milk bottle. ^^V easy for me and for him.

Later mom came in the kindy. She bought asam laksa and rojak. Wow ! it was so Yummy. After that Jet was suppose to take him bath but mom had to go to the bank. I finished sweeping the school and decided to feed Jet his dinner (much easier this time) before mom come back to shower him, while Jet takes his shower I quickly moped the school.

Only left for badminton 10 pass 5pm.

I manage to really sweat and exercise despise playing for only more than half an hour. Sophia and pris said my badminton very strong. I'm surprise to hear that but I do feel I'm getting closer with "United LemOn" my new Li-Ning racket. Kinda understand her ways.. =)

Leaders meeting was cancelled because of leaders advance camp coming up. Can't believe I would feel weird not going to church. It's like not going to work. I guess I'm too caught up with busyness in life. Ask me to rest I feel weird... ( Only for church and not secular job) but yeah..Annie suggested a good idea..She said she wanted to come back from church early to read. but she came back almost 9pm. tsk tsk*

so here I am doing my reflection...

picture of the day.

not very clear...mom looks like a good grandmother. =D

cheers

pamelyn

a nanny monday

This morning mom knocked my door to inform me that our vietnamese maid has not turned up for work. already expected she would be leaving us from the words she had been saying. I really miss her though, I hardly had time to bond with her since the first few months she arrived and even lesser when i stopped helping in the kindy.

She being not around I came in to take care of JET JET! yeap this adorable, handsome and happy laughing 9 months old baby who just learnt to sit on his back and stand. walking? nope not yet =D

besides that i also had the opportunity to cook lunch. yeah, ABC soup and chicken in black sauce. no encouraging or good comments from neither mom nor ms ang. sigh..I thought it was bearable and tasty even without MSG. hmm perhaps because this 2 can cook pretty well. they said the chicken is not cooked enough and the taste did not enter the chicken. I agree I thought about that but didn't want to over cook the chicken i guess i could have cooked it awhile more longer.

JET JET gave be a backache.. holding his milk bottle for him while he lies in his baby cot just busy sucking. XD i was super exhausted at 4pm suppose to put him to sleep but i slept instead..hehe. I dare to sleep cause mom came back from her errants and it was her turn to be the servant. Bravo!

Conclusion i can't imagine being a "KAKAK" and being so tired physically takng care of baby.. I wish my future baby would be able to listen to instruction..HAHAHA..amen!

who knows? anything is possible with our mighty God. LOL!

(think positive pamie think positive...)

God is good i pumped rm 20 of petrol when i left the house to fetch aunty christine to buy popo some medical stuff. She spent me a nice dinner and gave me rm 20 for petrol..swt..i can't believe what you give in return you will receive too...I learned that i dun have to be stingy because God will provide especially when u didnt expect anything in return.

oooo...it's pouring!! nice time to sleep in =D

Good nite!*hugs*

pamio signing off!

kid's ministry

I handed over my cell to aunty sharon today. It's amazing how God puts things into place. How he puts certain people in certain season to meet each other in certain journey in life. Heavy hearted i had to let go of my KC7 sheeps which I attended to for 7 months to another Shepard as i'm going to leave for UK. It was an on the job training, very fulfilling learning experience for me I guess my task has came to an end. I had to pass my responsibility that came along when i took up this position to someone else that could commit themselves and love these children.

I just realize how much i love these Indian kids. Although sometimes they don't listen to instructions and jump all around like monkeys not all but some and not all the time.


I will miss you all!!! Laysah, devitharshini, prakash, ellentamilan, kyvend troy,R.shalini, Shalini Rajendran, Yashila, Mugilan, philip david, Mathan, Kanaga, Katheeraven, Darshini Kabut, Sri Deva Simson, Ariswaran, Anusha, Pavelina, Hirtikka...many more.

If I say I only teach and not learn from them (these children) my heart is stone-cold and I'm all self-righteous.

pamio's saturday

leadership training was really awakening. Awakening as in making me realize so much ways we can come about things. So much to change and relearn and apply in my life. Thank you for the opportunity to learn and be better vessel for you, lord.

we had badminton right after that. I was pretty restless because i forgotten to bring my shoes. hmm...forgetful me. but really enjoyed playing with mark. I can see improvement in him. Fast learner! =D well i wish to play more matches and improve my skills. get tired easily. sigh.

later we were suppose to swim at mark's place but it rained like cats and dogs. we went to the gym instead. and it was so tiring. awesome! i picked up jujitsu from mark saw! =D so fun to see guys being tortured. yay..attacking the weak points of our joints. thanks mark! at least i don't feel so vulnerable physically anymore. i know small in size people can make huge people fall on their knees... haha

it was dinner time already i decide to accept aunty christine's invitation. Had dinner with the chuahs at sterling. i was very reluctant to leave early as i was burden to be with them. I know I'm not blood related with them but somehow i'm burden to help them with whatever means i can. Making the atmosphere lighter by watching dramas with them. sorry that i can't do much. Poh Poh stay strong i want to see you tomorrow and bring you back to Malacca if no one is free.

that's all for now.another long day tomorrow. God please make me a fresh tomorrow and rejuvenate me as I rest. in jesus name, amen!

nites!

look !! i have a room at mark's condo.